Hi, I’m Cassie, I am a Jesus girl. I believe that I am I Am’s, I’m accepted in the Beloved, and the Lord is my righteousness.
I am in my mid-twenties and I love writing, reading, art, and stationery…yes, stationary. Growing up all I ever really wanted to do was to write and to draw ( …and sing …but that’s a whole other topic, let’s not even go there). Unfortunately, at some point, my imagination became a coping mechanism, and not in a healthy way. To be honest I spent more time in fictional worlds than I did in the real world, to the point where I was socialized by what I read and not my environment. I was already a Christian though and so when I started university, I found myself finding my way into Word through listening to Joseph Prince sermons. Through that, I found my identity in Christ, and since then my creative projects have been changing to fit this new identity.
One thing that I still struggle with though, from what I would refer to as the dark period in my life, is stress and anxiety. Over the years I have listened to so many sermons and meditated on a lot of verses trying to break free from what has been holding back from a fruitful and productive, happy life for as long as I can remember. I struggled through trying to change myself, trying to take control of my destiny as the world would say, but I came to a place of resting in the knowledge that I cannot but He can.
Unfortunately, despite all my best efforts, or the knowledge that on my own I cannot, I have still found myself struggling to live happily, and live free. And when I would occasionally speak to people about what I had come to understand from the teachings, it seemed to touch them and change their lives, but it never seemed to change mine.
When I am thinking clearly, however, I can admit that it did change my life, maybe not to the level of my expectations but I wouldn’t have survived this long without it. I have only been able to get this far through the use of worship music, encouraging devotionals and uplifting sermons.
While I often feel that I am way overdramatic about my experience, I cannot deny the impact that the gospel of grace and Christ-centered sermons and worship music have done for me. And that is why I started this blog, to give glory to God and to share His grace and love in hopes that it might impact someone else’s life as it has mine. I talk about some of the things I know can help us in our walk with Christ that I am still learning to work out, as He works them in me.
On the side of fiction, my work has also changed over the years to reflect some of the things I have been learning as well. During that dark period in my life where I turned to an imaginary world to hide from the feelings caused by the real world, I went down a path of reading anything I could get my hands on that would make me forget. Unable to afford the books I wanted to read, I found myself on the Internet reading even things I had promised myself I would never touch as a child.
As a result, my writing for a long time was definitely not influenced by my relationship with God, which I confess to having abandoned early on in the journey. I am a Pastor’s kid, and my estranged relationship with my father who I often felt would take the opportunity to try to use the bible to keep us in line, drove me to a place where I told God I would speak to Him only when I had moved out from my parents’ house. This lead to no bible reading, yet a lot of trashy novels during my teenage years.
My writing though was not at all a reflection of what I was reading as I was too ashamed to even be found reading the books I was reading, let alone writing them. Instead, my writing was influenced by the need to dig myself out of the hole I had dug myself into and remind myself that what I had gone through was nothing compared to the real struggles people faced outside in the real world. And if people could go through such challenging things in their lives and come out at the top, then a drama queen like me could surely conquer life as well right?
So I had my characters go through some of the worst situations I could think of and I would conquer the world through them. My struggle with my relationship with God was also clearly evident in those books, showing both in the absence of any positive impact He would have made on the characters, as well the negative impact the thought of Him had on my characters.
My journey over the past seven years, however, has seen this changing over time, with me firmly deciding to write more under the umbrella of Christian fiction four years. I am still working on what that means for me however, and at this point, I have to let it all go into the hands of the Holy Spirit to lead me and guide me in what I write instead of obsessing over whether or not it’s good enough or if it’s getting the right message across.
I have come to the point of realizing that because my past is not perfect, my writing when influenced by it, will probably not be perfect either and I will make a lot of mistakes. I can only trust, let go, and let God speak to His people through my writing because I do not know how to do it. I pray that even if I somehow give off the wrong message, God in His grace would even use my mistake and make it work together for good, not just for me but also for my readers.
Being that my writing is mostly influenced by Joseph Prince Ministries, I always hoped to one day find a way to connect with them and have the message I write validated by their team but that’s mostly a dream born from the fear of both leading people astray and of rejection…And me clarify…the team, and the man himself…I kind of this thing where I don’t want to meet some of these pastors…don’t ask me why.
I have, though, come to the realization that I have something better, I have the Holy Spirit and He is there to teach me all things and bring to remembrance all that the Lord has said to me, whether through sermons, music, the bible or any other means. I mean I would still love it if I could connect with the Ministry, but only because of the impact they continue to have on my life.
The Lord Jesus Christ is ultimately the source of what I want to write as He put this desire in my heart, so more than anyone, I need to lean on Him to show me when I turning in the wrong direction and believing the wrong thing. This could be through Joseph Prince Ministries, or other preachers like Michael Todd, Steven Furtick, or my local church pastor, Pastor Madambi, or it could be through other amazing believers out there who are Christ-centered and believe in the gospel of grace. Through all this though, the Lord Himself and the guidance of the Holy Spirit will always have the final say because I have to always take it all back to Him and let Him lead me in the way I should go.
I should point out that one of the things I have struggled with is being distracted from the Word He would have given me. I sometimes found myself forgetting the direction He would have given me to take as I fell into stress, and anxiety. So beyond writing for others, I am also writing for myself, so that I have the encouragement, and the direction He has given me written somewhere where I can go back and read, to personally be reminded and redirected towards where I need to go.
So my hope, if we take this journey together, is that the Lord would teach us all and guide us in the way we should go, even as we give all the glory to Him for who He is, what He has done for us, and all that He has promised because we know that He is faithful.
This time last year, I had just received my first direct word from God, and I thought my life was about to change, for the better. I was getting ready for my 26th birthday, with God’s promise that He was changing my name, and I would be becoming a strong woman of God. I gave myself a year to get my act together and invest time in myself… but once again, I failed. As I have been thinking about this in the past few days, I was really sad because, in the natural, nothing has changed. This year has been almost as bad as the previous ones. Infact, this year I feel like I have failed, even more than the previous years
But also during this past week, I have been reminded of two sermons that got me going last time, and helped me believe God for better things. The first sermon talks about giving God what is natural, that is, the gift He has given us, and allowing Him to turn it supernatural for His glory. The second one talks about how I blessed with believing Abraham. Those who have the righteousness of faith are heirs of the world, we are blessed with believing Abraham.
These two sermons have been working in heart over the past week and right now I just know that I am okay. I failed, sure, but He’s got me, and He will teach me to prosper and lead me in the way I should go. There is therefore now no more condemnation in Christ Jesus, and while I wasted this past year, who I am, has not changed,
I am His, I am an heir of the world and blessed with believing Abraham because my righteousness is from Him.
I am, I Am’s.
So this is why I write-
I write because I want to share His love for us, share His grace for us and help build us in His faith.
I write because there is always a voice in my head. A voice that cannot be silenced, always telling stories…or trying to change that of others. I write because these stories in my head need a new home, somewhere to go, to make space for new ones. I write because I want to share these stories, I want to share that voice, and the ideas it has.
I write because God has given me a gift, a talent, a voice. I write to give glory to Him for giving me such a gift. I believe He gives me both the will and the ability to do for His good pleasure. I am learning to hear His voice, in my life and in my writing, and though sometimes I miss the mark, that’s okay because He is there still showing me the way and guiding me where to go. As I rest in Him and make Him the center of my life, I cast my writing into His hands as well and make Him the center of it all.
And so I write because His voice is in my head, His words are in my mind and in my heart, taking over what’s already, screaming to get out for His good pleasure. They are screaming to get out so someone somewhere out there can be encouraged and say that even if this is fiction, He loves us dearly. And if His love can be seen in these stories then maybe, just maybe, it can be experienced in our lives as well.
I write because I want to share His love for us, share His grace for us and help build us in His faith.Find me on Social media: